2012

BodyGuardz: A Thank You Note

Let me start this off with a confession. I rarely win anything. Ever. So when I was contacted by the good folks over at BodyGuardz, and told that I won “$150 worth of swag”, I was understandably pretty elated. Around the same time it struck me that, given the forum I represent, they couldn’t have picked a better winner. Not only do they get the good press for giving $150 worth of “swag” away, but they would get some free actual press, as thats kinda what I do. I was told to email them with my info and sweatshirt size, so off it went and the wait began.

I was a little more then excited when I got to work this morning and found a box from them. Although they didn’t identify specifically what I would be receiving, I was a little shocked at the small stature of the box, given that they asked for my sweatshirt size and all. Nevertheless I hastily cut into it to see what my good fortune had wrought. Inside, I was first greeted with the card you see above. Very nice. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Laying it aside, and wiping away the tear, I dug into the box.

So what did I get? What constituted my “$150 worth of BodyGuardz swag”?

Heres a break down:

1x BodyGuardz Pure Glass screen protector for iPhone 5 (39.95)

1x Earjax Bump headphones (29.95)

1x Cute black hand written note (0.00)

You may be asking yourself something to the tune of: “What else?”

Thats, unfortunately it. My “$150 worth of swag” turned out to be worth a paltry $69.90. But, not wanting being a whiny little b****, I decided to let that go and enjoy the neat stuff I did get. After all it was, in fact, free.

First things first, The BodyGuardz Pure.

As Im sure most of you have seen by now, tempered glass screen protectors are a major fad right now. Everybody has their own variant. (Hell for a minute even we were going to make and market one, but Murda slapped some sense into us and told us we were just here to write.) Not to be left out, Bodyguardz released the “Pure”. Now from the video below, one would assume these cases were no slouch. I mean hell… They hit it with a hammer!

Not really ever being a screen protector guy, I would have never bought one. Given it was free though, (and you know… in case I ever went nuts and decided to attack my phone with a hammer) I decided to give it a go. It installed fine, just as you would expect from a $40 screen protector, and it looked ok. That said I immediately  remembered why I don’t really care for screen protectors, as it added 1mm worth of thickness to the phone, and a distinct edge for my finger to play with. Before removing it though, I figured (for science) I would test its scratch resistance. See what all the fuss was about.

I laid out my tools of destruction: Keys, my pocket knife, a screw driver, and ice pick, and yes even a claw hammer and the testing began. Here is where it gets disappointing. While it withstood the keys like you would expect, my pocket knife (with very little pressure) scored the surface of the glass. Needless to say I was a bit deflated. Scratch proof indeed. But here at Mythbusters… er FSM, we don’t just stop there. I intended to see just what it would take to not only scratch, but shatter this thing. I flipped the knife over in my hand and tapped the screen with the handle.

This “chemically-tempered glass exceeding the hardness of steel” didn’t even survive the first tap. Immediately I found a tiny crack had appeared on the glass. Unfazed I pressed forward delivering a total of 7 “thumps” with the handle of my pocket knife… below is the result.

Now, let be realistic here, I was not expecting to get to the claw hammer. I know good marketing when I see it. Otherwise, why wouldn’t the phones just ship with this glass? Surely the “chemical-tempering” process isn’t beyond apples reach. But I didn’t ruthlessly attack this cover. I applied light pressure with the blade (scratched it to hell), and “thumped” it with the handle using no more then the pressure generated by gravity on the knife as it fell from about an inch above the screen. I was still in the easy phase after all. I didn’t trust it enough to pound the screen to death yet. Playing devils advocate, perhaps my screen was defective or something… but damn. What a buzz kill.

As for the headphones they sent me? They are honestly not worth a review. Although they were extremely comfortable for in-ear headphones, the old school earbuds of yesteryear far out preform them acoustically. The bass was so over blown you could hardly make out who was singing, and the highs were so flat it almost made me hate my favorite song. In short, unless bass patrol your thing, just go with the ear pods. You will be glad you did.

In the end, here I sit very disappointed. Where I started the day with $150 in free goodies, Im left with a broken screen protector and a pair of headphones I wouldn’t give to a deaf person. Im not even all that worried about the other $80.10 worth of “swag” that I seem to be missing. I sincerely hope they take that money and apply it to R&D, because… wow. In the end though, I don’t want to come off as a totally ungrateful prick. So that said…

Thanks for the Card.

You can check out BodyGuardz here, like I said, maybe it was a fluke.